Thread: Humor
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Unread 09-18-09, 12:41 PM   #23
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A Molten Giant
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 649
A "few" "obligatory" blond jokes.



1. Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman as opposed to a regular one?
(You have to hollow out the head.)



2. Why won't they hire blondes as pharmacists?
(They keep breaking the prescription bottles in the typewriters.)



3. Hear about the blonde that got an AM radio?
(It took her a month to realize she could play it in the afternoon.)



4. What happened to the blonde ice hockey team?
(They drowned during Spring Training.)



5. Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence?
(To see what was on the other side.)



6. How did the blonde die drinking milk?
(The cow stepped on her.)



7. How did the blonde burn her nose?
(Bobbing for French fries.)



8. Why do blondes have more fun?
(They're easier to amuse.)



9. What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer?
(Frosted flakes.)



10. Why can't blondes put in light bulbs?
(They keep breaking them with their hammers.)



11. Did you hear about the blonde that shot an arrow into the air?
(She missed.)



12. What do you call it when a blonde blows into another blonde's ear?
(Data transfer.)



13. Why did the blonde resolve to have only three children?
(Because she read that one child out of every four is born Chinese.)



14. Why did the blonde put makeup on her forehead?
(She wanted everyone to know that she was able to make up her mind.)



15. Why did the blonde ask her friends to save their burned out light bulbs?
(She needed them for the darkroom she was building.)



16. Why are Asians so smart?
(No blondes.)



17. What is the biggest advantage to marrying blonde?
(You get to park in the Handicapped Zone)

18. TWO BLONDES



Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench
talking........and one blonde says to the other:
"Which do you think is farther away..........Florida or the moon?"
"The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida.......?????"

19. CAR TROUBLE



A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died.
After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
She says, "What's the story?"
He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor"
She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"

20. SPEEDING TICKET



A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks
her very nicely if he could see her license.
She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together.
Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"

21. RIVER WALK



There's this blonde out for a walk.
She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank.
"Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I get to the other side?
"The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back,
"You ARE on the other side."

22. KNITTING



A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway.
Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting!
Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren,
the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!"
"NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"

23. BLONDE ON THE SUN



A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day.
The Russian said, "We were the first in space!"
The American said, "We were the first on the moon!
"The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!"
The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads.
"You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the Russian.
To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know.
We're going at night!"

24. IN A VACUUM



A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night.
It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature.
Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?"
She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"

25. FINALLY,



A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs,
and asked her what their names were.
The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.
Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"
"Helloooo," answered the blond.-"They're watch dogs!"
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