We don't really care if it's "super ugly" and "uncommented", we'll be able to tell you how to approach this problem from a different angle if there is one anyway.
The easiest solution would be to post the code, and stop being arrogant. It's going to come back and bite you in the butt!
It's your choice, but you are asking for help. People are trying to help you. In order to help you they need your code as that's where the problem is.
Take it or leave it, people will get tired of helping you when you won't help them to help you.
Lots of helping in there, and it may sound like a rant but it's not.
