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10-13-10, 05:00 AM   #1
voodoodad
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A plea to the CarboTrolls...

As many... MANY people have noted, Carbonite has ceased to function after the 4.0.1 patch. This is to be expected, as this is the first patch leading to the release of Cataclysm, and almost everything about the game is changing.

Now, for the most part the response has been one of sadness and loss over a great addon and curiosity over whether the devs are working on a revamped version. There have also been 1 or 2 side trips into wierd paranoia-land stating things like "Blizz just don't wanna make players have no fun no more, so they brake teh gud addons". I'm not gonna address those.

What I am going to discuss are a small, but incredibly vocal subset of Carb users that I will hereafter refer to as CarboTrolls. Cute, huh? Made it up myself! Anyway, for a definition of CarboTroll, read on;

CarboTroll; noun, A World of Warcraft player who has been exposed to a heretofore unheard of virus known as Carbonite Madness. The symptoms of Carbonite Madness (or "the Carb Crazies" as it is euphemistically referred to at times) are as follows; The sufferer frequently posts virulent and sometimes outright threatening messages directed at the Carbonite development team, demanding that the addon be "FIXED NOW!".

Sufferers are also noted to totally lack any social skills whatsoever, arguing with people over the simplest of statements.

For example;

WoW Player: Ok, then. Have a nice day!

CarboTroll: GO F#@K URSLF!!!!

CarboTrolls have also been noted to have the strange inability to type anything without having the caps-lock on. This is a related virus known as Caplocitis. They also display a total inability to spell correctly, frequently replacing "your" or "you're" with the archaic "ur". "The" is almost universally transposed with "teh".

If you know of anyone displaying these symptoms, PLEASE attempt to get them help at once! Failing this, report them to the local authorities. Do NOT attempt to approach a sufferer of full blown Carb Madness by yourself! The only known way to deal with a sufferer of the full blown version of this virus is to destroy the brain of the sufferer. Unfortunately, by the final stages of the Carb Crazies, sufferers' brains will have shrunk to the size of a boiled pea, thus making them an almost impossible to hit target to anyone but the most highly trained marksmen.

If you are a sufferer of Carbonite Madness and you can still read this, there's STILL HOPE! Seek medical treatment immediately! While true that there is no cure for Carbonite Madness (other than a working version of the addon), there are several highly effective treatments that can bring the symptoms under control for long periods of time. Large glasses of Thorazine-laced Kool-Aid are among the best treatments the medical community have to offer, presently. Above all, do NOT post in these, or any other forums until after you receive help.

On a side note; Sufferers of Carbonite Madness have often been witnessed free-basing Gear Score. If you see a friend or loved one displaying this behavior, GET OUT OF THE HOUSE IMMEDIATELY! YOU ARE IN DANGER!
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Last edited by voodoodad : 10-13-10 at 05:03 AM.
 
10-13-10, 05:40 AM   #2
LarryGatlin
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LOL well stated
 
10-13-10, 06:13 AM   #3
Coote
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What is the CarboTrolls Kryptonite?
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10-13-10, 06:29 AM   #4
Eternal Nether
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Originally Posted by TMcMahon51 View Post
What is the CarboTrolls Kryptonite?
A permaban XD
 
10-13-10, 06:34 AM   #5
Jigain
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Jigain approves of this medicinal article, and forwards it to local hospitals.
 
10-13-10, 07:43 AM   #6
Riddrick
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Just want to add somthing in this mather,
there are addons that has auto reply.

Some people got the knowledge to change this text
without your knowing it. I been thru that.

Okej, some text from me might not be the sweetes words,
but sometimes people just go to far.

1. 5 people ask if you want to buy gold in an hour.
And they start with the text:
Hey friend.
ME: What...well if i'am your friend give me the
gold for free.

2. people invite you in a raidgroup thats
20 levels lower than you.

3. People spams the Duel request at least 5 times
in a row.
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Donīt drink and drive they say,
now i lost the counting for the
bad stuff that happen to me.
RUN when you see me becuse
iīam going to be soooo loaded!!!
If you donīt knock on the doors,
donīt expect a good welcome!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ya2KR4VQwu4
Now the real killing begins!!

Warsong
 
10-13-10, 10:03 AM   #7
MidgetMage55
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Well said good Sir.

"Brilliant!" - The Times.

"A must see!" - The Tribune

"Generic review here!" - The Chronicle

"An uproariously funny read!" - Midgetmage55



Nothing like a good laugh just before I head off to work.
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10-13-10, 11:28 AM   #8
voodoodad
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Originally Posted by Riddrick View Post
Just want to add somthing in this mather,
there are addons that has auto reply.

Some people got the knowledge to change this text
without your knowing it. I been thru that.

Okej, some text from me might not be the sweetes words,
but sometimes people just go to far.

1. 5 people ask if you want to buy gold in an hour.
And they start with the text:
Hey friend.
ME: What...well if i'am your friend give me the
gold for free.

2. people invite you in a raidgroup thats
20 levels lower than you.

3. People spams the Duel request at least 5 times
in a row.
Hmmm.... Seemingly totally unrelated to the matter at hand, and yet...

Tell me, have you ever stabbed your keyboard with your index finger while at the same time muttering over and over, "Fix it... Fix it nao!!!"?
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10-13-10, 03:36 PM   #9
Rizz
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 1
Well Said

I, for one, am still recovering from carbo madness, and would like to support said medical report to the fullest. Laughter is, after all, the best medicine.

(Don't take my word for it though =p)
 
10-13-10, 03:48 PM   #10
voodoodad
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Originally Posted by TMcMahon51 View Post
What is the CarboTrolls Kryptonite?
Questhelper
Originally Posted by MidgetMage55 View Post
Well said good Sir.

"Brilliant!" - The Times.

"A must see!" - The Tribune

"Generic review here!" - The Chronicle

"An uproariously funny read!" - Midgetmage55



Nothing like a good laugh just before I head off to work.
Thanks, Midge! UR teh BEST!
Originally Posted by Rizz View Post
I, for one, am still recovering from carbo madness, and would like to support said medical report to the fullest. Laughter is, after all, the best medicine.

(Don't take my word for it though =p)
Glad I could help you on the long road to recovery!
Originally Posted by Riddrick View Post
Just want to add somthing in this mather,
there are addons that has auto reply.

Some people got the knowledge to change this text
without your knowing it. I been thru that.

Okej, some text from me might not be the sweetes words,
but sometimes people just go to far.

1. 5 people ask if you want to buy gold in an hour.
And they start with the text:
Hey friend.
ME: What...well if i'am your friend give me the
gold for free.

2. people invite you in a raidgroup thats
20 levels lower than you.

3. People spams the Duel request at least 5 times
in a row.
I've always been curious about one thing... Is your sig meant to condone or even outright promote drunk driving? Or am I just reading it wrong?
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10-13-10, 03:50 PM   #11
Crystallyne
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Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 28
Voodoodad... I think I love you! XD

A total WIN of a post!!

And let's not forget folks, in the meantime as your whining about missing Carbonite, there -are- alternatives around! The quest assistance feature (can't remember the exact name atm) developed by Blizzard really isn't bad, and at least helps you figure out where to go for your quests!

And of course there is always the internet. I personally highly recommend Wowhead for all your quest needs, or whatever informational needs you may have!
 
10-13-10, 04:13 PM   #12
voodoodad
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Originally Posted by Crystallyne View Post
Voodoodad... I think I love you! XD

A total WIN of a post!!

And let's not forget folks, in the meantime as your whining about missing Carbonite, there -are- alternatives around! The quest assistance feature (can't remember the exact name atm) developed by Blizzard really isn't bad, and at least helps you figure out where to go for your quests!

And of course there is always the internet. I personally highly recommend Wowhead for all your quest needs, or whatever informational needs you may have!
How you doin'?

Seriously, though I agree about the Blizzard default quest functions. "Default" has become kind of a four letter word in the WoW community over the years, but people need to realize that "default" doesn't always equate to "bad".

That said, I'm half considering making an attempt to figure out the main map functionality of Carbonite (mouse wheel zoom, resizing, etc) and integrating the default Blizzard quest functions. I've always wanted to create an addon of my very own.

After all, how hard could it be?
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10-13-10, 04:29 PM   #13
SkinnRodd
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I'm hurtin, no carb>.< where'd I leave that box of matches
 
10-13-10, 04:43 PM   #14
Kythlyn
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Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 11
Thank you for posting this.

I just want to offer my thanks to the Carbonite team for an excellent add-on. I look forward to their future releases, whether they come before or after the release of Cataclysm.
 
10-13-10, 05:34 PM   #15
todd0168
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Voodoo, yet again you have found the words needed at a time of the greatest need. I couldn't possibly praise that post enough.

*clap*
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10-13-10, 05:44 PM   #16
stuartthompson
A Kobold Labourer
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 1
Fantastic post VoodooDad. Brightened up my afternoon at work and voiced a sentiment I've long felt, in a much wittier fashion than I could have. Our guild forums send their approval too; with 5 "thumbs up" type replies in the last few minutes.

Carbonite is a superb add-on of a complexity I can't even imagine. I do hope that the developers choose to create a 4.x version for the community but totally understand the difficulty of the task ahead of them.

I'll search around for my Acme Co. CarboTroll BrainSmasher 2000 tonight and see if I can't thin the ranks a little.
 
10-14-10, 01:47 AM   #17
schizophrena
A Flamescale Wyrmkin
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 134
The unfortunate thing is that this is too true... I think with Carbonite being such an extensive mod that lots of people use, when they have to go back to not having it - it's like denying a drunk his alcohol and they have major withdrawals.

You are among many who saw this coming, and to quote an admin in another forum about this whole fiasco...

"Enough. I'm getting very tired of these threads getting out of hand. I'm just about ready to lock the whole damn forum until the Carbonite guys get their new release out. Behave, the lot of you. You guys know our rules, and if you don't, you should get to know them."

Granted, some of the words did have links in them for those who didn't know the rules or where to find them. People just need to learn to breath, take a step away from the computer (maybe more) and relax until a response is made.
 
10-14-10, 07:21 AM   #18
voodoodad
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In all honesty, by the time I started this thread I was starting to think "Wow! Carb hasn't had that many hits from the troll crowd yet!"

Unfortunately, my post seemed to open the floodgates, because it started right after my op.

Anyway, I hope that everyone took my post in the spirit for which it was intended. All in good fun and as a stress reliever for what I was pretty sure was coming. Turns out I was right (in SPADES)!
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