Originally Posted by Akryn
Honestly my *real* suggestion would just be to download a full unitframes replacement addon and play with it for a couple days, before you decide you don't want to use one, but...
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And you'd be right. Not long after I made this thread, an old FFXI player on some other forums I visit brought up Xperl (I find curse and this website really hard to navigate through all the crap addons to figure out which are actually decent, despite recommendations for certain things on front pages, etc.). A response to that showed their UI, using Xperl, and it looked pretty nice, so I downloaded it and tried it out.
The only things I haven't obtained from my list above are buff ordering (can do without), re-ordering party members (I think), and Rage/Energy as number only instead of a bar (not a big deal).
I have the buffs under the party members/myself now, which means having the party frames in the top left is fine, since I can stick to the top left, middle, and bottom of the screen, rather than having to dart to the right-hand side. All of my frequent actions are tied to CTRL-1 through 6 and ALT-1 through 6, with a few being Shift-1 through 4 (less common but emergency use, and Divine Plea). I can't try it out until tonight but it seems like it'll work.
My apologies for this thread. If I'd just waited 20 minutes I wouldn't have even needed to post it.
Thanks for the response, though.