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Experiment with fading or darkening the modifier buttons, perhaps? There's a lot of ways in which you could make an element "less interesting" to the viewer without reducing readability, thankfully! You definitely want to keep the main button big, though, because the alternative would just be counter-intuitive.
Maybe the current setup does work, though? It's a bit hard to really tell without actually trying it out, but my eyes are trying to look at the button cluster as though it's one unified object, and that tells me that the main button could be made a bit more distinctive from the buttons underneath. Whether by being just a little bigger itself, or by having the buttons under a bit less visible.
You could consider a more solid border around the main button, that would also give it a more distinct separation from the other buttons without taking away from the context.
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